Transcript: (hide)(show)

Snape kneels over the unconscious Goyle, while Harry, Crabbe, and Draco stand still at the top of the stairs.

SNAPE: Vulnera indico. { A non-canon spell; Latin for "Reveal the injuries". }

Magical energy appears on Goyle's body on the head, one arm, and one leg, as well as near Snape's wand.

SNAPE: He will recover... with time...

Snape turns to look up the stairs.

SNAPE: Potter! Return to your dormitory immediately. I will know if you do not. The Headmaster will see you as soon as he is available. Malfoy, Crabbe, come with me. It goes without saying that both your houses will be penalized for this incident.

We see Harry climbing through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor common room. This is one of the most well-lit rooms we've seen yet, although it is still shadowy. A fire burns in a hearth. There are two round tables with plush chairs around them, and a couch of a similar style across from the portrait hole. At one of the tables, Granger is breezing through a Transfiguration assignment involving turning glass marbles into beetles and writing about it (although it's probably too small for the average viewer to see that's exactly what's going on). Granger is facing away from Harry; at the other table, George Weasley and Angelina Johnson are standing and facing Harry angrily as ze enters the room. George is very pale and has short-cropped red hair; Angelina is quite dark and has more-than-shoulder-length black hair.

ANGELINA: Well, if it isn't the prat who just lost us fifty points!

(hide transcript)
Approximate readability: 10.64 (908 characters, 209 words, 9 sentences, 4.34 characters per word, 23.22 words per sentence)

That's Angelina Johnson, by the way (and George Weasley near zem). I originally had planned to make the two jerks here be Fred and George, but then I remembered how much Angelina had badgered Harry in the fifth book about getting in trouble by standing up to Umbridge, so I figured ze'd be perfect for this role.

I'm slightly concerned that none of my darker-skinned characters so far have been friendly ones. Lily Evans will be dark-skinned and friendly, though, or at least as friendly as you can get in a story as metaphorically dark as this one. (I don't know if Angelina's race is ever specificed in the books, but ze's black in the movies, and I consider the movies to be canon when they don't contradict the books – and I saw no particular reason to change it, since whitewashing my characters would be a jerk move too.)

On another note, I'd ask, “Do you think Snape is doing the right thing in this situation?”, but I think it's the wrong question. How about: Are Snape's actions here sufficient to address the wrongs we've seen? And what kinds of things could Snape have done earlier, to stop this situation from having happened in the first place?